Avenues of Inquiry
By David on 1-11-2025
It seems to me that there are a few different avenues or approaches to self-inquiry. I wonder if they will come together as ultimately the same inquiry in the end though. Either way, when I am inquiring into who I am, my mind seems to want to choose between three potential "ways" to inquire. The three different ways seem to be as follows:
- Continually ask/inquire into "who" is aware of this "thing" that has been noticed, then be open and see what comes as a result and repeat.
- Intend to directly experience yourself as the one who is aware of this "thing" (sensation, state, emotion, thought, feeling, object, etc.), and in that direct experience and openness notice what comes as a result and repeat.
- Intend to directly experience yourself as the "thing", and in that direct experience and openness, notice what comes as a result and repeat.
More recently, I have been noticing that a combination of those three approaches has been being used in my inquiry.
Directly Experiencing the Result of Inquiry
If I inquire into who I am and am open to what happens because of it, what comes up should be checked if that really is who one is.
This would imply a true openness to the inquiry and what is being received as a result. If one does not truly question what has come up as a result of the inquiry as the potential reality or answer, then they are searching for something specific rather than being open to what comes up.
For example, if I intend to have a direct experience of myself, and I notice my breath, then the noticing of my breath is the result of the inquiry. So, if that was what was "received" as a result, then that should be checked by directly experiencing myself as that breath. It will either be the Truth, and I will know, or something else will arise as a result of my checking, and then I can check that.
This way, there is true openness and surrender to what is coming as a result of the inquiry, and one is in a truly not-knowing curious state. If I instead were to notice my breath as a result of the inquiry, and then just said, "there is just breath", then it seems clear that "I" am searching for something other than what came as a result. If I am searching for "something" other than what is presented and now for me, then there is a search for a state or concept of myself, rather than whatever the Truth may be.
Right now, I feel most called to this approach to my inquiry. For now, I plan on continuing to explore this approach in the Ena videos and my Dyads with others. This would be number three in the list above.
Other Potential Techniques
I would still like to take the time to explore describing and communicating what I see as the other techniques. And to finish with the simplest of them all: simply intending to directly experience oneself as they are now, and communicating what comes as a result. Nothing more, nothing less.
💠Side Note: Last night (Jan 8th), my inquiry felt very lost again. That seems to happen sometimes. Maybe it's because it feels repetitive or feels so surface, but it suddenly can feel so "wrong". Like all of it is just not "it". There is still this sense of being called to directly experience myself as what is coming up.
Technique 1: Questioning "Who" is Aware
The first one in the list is a constant questioning. I have found myself in this inquiry naturally and for extended periods of time. This one for me seems to lead or imply a searching for some idea of myself, rather than noticing what is actually coming up as a result of the inquiry.
For example, I am eating some chocolate right now, and I can ask myself "who is aware of eating chocolate?" This one is interesting because I could also ask myself this in many different ways:
- "Who is aware of the taste of this chocolate?"
- "Who is enjoying this chocolate?"
- "Who is noticing that chocolate is being eaten?"
Who is to say which one is the best one to ask? What does this produce? In this moment I just asked and settled on "Who is aware of the taste of this chocolate?" because the taste was real and the most self-apparent reality in the moment. The result of this inquiry leads to an openness in the mind and a sort of "seeking" for an answer.
In this moment, there was not enjoyment having the sense of "seeking" for myself. Of course, I could then ask "Who is aware of a sense of seeking?" Which, in this case, then leads me to noticing of the body.
💠Side Note: I do not eat chocolate that much, but I must start inquiring with it more because this is fucking delicious and I am already through half the bar.
I then could ask "Who is aware of the body?" or "Who is aware of being aware of the body?" And so on.
Maybe this is perfect approach. Maybe this is wonderful. However, right now I am not feeling it because it seems to inherently bring a sense of searching.
Technique 2: Intending to Directly Experience the One Who is Aware
At this moment I am considering this the next step up from the last one. In this one, we forgo any mind question about who we are and go directly for the experience of yourself in relation to what is being noticed.
For example, with this damn chocolate, which is probably going to give me an upset stomach for Dyads night, I could intend to directly experience myself as the one who is experiencing the taste. Which seems to be a more peaceful approach. There is little to no seeking and the experience or happening of the intention feels more true. Instead of looking for a mind answer, I am just intending to directly experience myself as the one who is experiencing the taste. Not asking who is experiencing the taste.
The only problem I can see with this approach is that I am always dividing myself from what is being experienced. Here there is always "me" and this "thing". In this approach, I do not know if anyone could ever get past this division, as they are actively making this division in the structured analysis of the result of inquiry.
There is breath
"I intend to directly experience myself as the one who is aware of breath"
awareness ⟷ breath*
There is wind on the skin
"I intend to directly experience myself as the one who is aware of wind on the skin"
awareness ⟷ wind on skin*
In these (and all scenarios), awareness is always being divided by what is being experienced.
Technique 3: Directly Experiencing Yourself as That Which There is Awareness Of
The ultimate as my current proximation of inquiry. If I intend to directly experience myself as I am now, and I am open, and what is noticed is breath, then shouldn't I check if I am breath? The only reason that that answer of breath as who or what I am would be ignored is if the individual is searching for something else. Searching for some idea or whatever they might be trying to do unconsciously.
There is breath
"I intend to directly experience myself as breath"
awareness = breath*
There is a chilly feeling
"Am I this chilly feeling? I intend to directly experience myself as this chilly feeling"
awareness = chilly feeling*
I notice the mind
"Am I this noticing? I intend to directly experience myself as this noticing"
awareness = noticing*
We have removed the division between the experience of what is and the idea of who or what we are. We have removed the sense of a separate self who is experiencing this "thing" but is not this thing.
Simple Technique: Fuck All That, Just Intend To Directly Experience Yourself Now
I think this approach is also just as perfectly fit. There is no implying a structure, no motivation for division or for a union, just going for the truth now. This might just be the best. It keeps it simple and less prone to the mind going off on its own rails of ideas and techniques. But who knows. Do you?
Right now, I am enjoying inquiry type 3 and the simple one.
Conclusion
Imagine traveling through many different lands on foot. Through valleys, deserts, over mountains, past oceans, thick rainforests, and flat plains. That is what inquiring can feel like sometimes, both in what is coming up and how inquiry is approached.
I ate too much chocolate, and my heart is kind of pounding now. It was good but not worth it.
Thank you.