MKE Contemplation Dyads
Contemplate koans with a partner in a safe space with a taught technique
*No partner required for attending
Once you've explored this page and understand the basics, ready to dive deeper?
What Are Dyads?
The Dyads process is a practice of deep exploration into our true nature. One intends to directly experience their true nature while communicating to a partner what is arising. It starts with two people sitting directly across from each other, gazing into each other's eyes while taking turns between roles.
The Witness
As the witness, you give the instruction directly to your partner: "Tell me who you are" (or "Tell me what you are" when working with that koan). This is delivered as a clear instruction, not a question, while looking at them directly with genuine desire to know who they truly are.
Your role is to listen with pure conscious attention, seeking to understand without holding any opinion, judgment, or evaluation about what is being communicated. No reactions, facial expressions, gestures, or comments—anything that might cause your partner to withdraw or feel judged.
If clarification is truly needed, the only response permitted is: "Can you please clarify that." This maintains the one-way communication flow essential to the process.
The Inquirer
Upon receiving the instruction, intend to consciously, directly know who you are. This is not thinking about yourself or analyzing—it's setting an intention to directly know the actual self. Then remain open to whatever arises in your consciousness as a result of this intention.
Communicate only what occurs as a direct result of your contemplation—thoughts, emotions, memories, sensations, or insights that arise from intending to know yourself. Not everything that comes to mind, only what feels connected to your contemplation.
Consider avoiding "I," "me," or "my" to break identification with mental concepts. Instead of "I feel wonderful," try "there is a wonderful feeling." If you become stuck, communicate that experience and continue with the technique.
Why Communication Accelerates the Process
When you communicate what arises from your contemplation to another person who truly receives and understands it, those mental contents dissolve from your mind. This creates space for deeper inquiry into who you actually are, beyond thoughts, concepts, and identifications. The combination of contemplation and communication works far more rapidly than solo contemplation alone.
Switching Roles
During the 40-minute session, you'll alternate between roles every 5 minutes when the singing bowl rings. This timing prevents getting lost in emotional states and maintains the balance between contemplation and communication that makes the technique effective. The inquirer initiates the switch with a small bow and "thank you."
Between Switches
- • Take a moment to close your eyes and ground yourself
- • Stay in inquiry—avoid outside conversations
- • Hydrate as needed
- • Remain seated with your partner
Creating Safety
- • No judgment, evaluation, or commentary from the witness
- • Express whatever arises without fear of reaction
- • This is a safe space to share what you usually wouldn't
- • Balance contemplation and communication roughly 50/50
- • Sometimes uncomfortable, sometimes beautiful—continue
Each dyad session lasts 40 minutes total with participants switching between witnessing and inquiring every 5 minutes, giving everyone equal time in both roles.
Koans You Can Explore
Choose any koan that calls to you for deep contemplation during your dyad sessions:
Join Us Every Friday in Milwaukee
Every Friday through fall and winter in Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Meeting Details
When: Every Friday through fall and winter
Where: 1922 E Park Pl
Milwaukee, WI 53211
Building: Mindfulness Community
Attendance: You can arrive before any dyad or leave after any dyad, but we encourage not arriving during a dyad session or leaving mid-dyad
Partners: You do not need to come with a partner. Partners will be chosen between those in attendance prior to the start of each dyad
Friday Schedule
Map Location
Questions or Want to Register?
Registration is completely optional, but if you'd like to let us know you're coming, have any questions, or want to connect before attending, feel free to reach out.
Contact David:
davidnlagrange@hotmail.comA Safe Space for Discovery
Be open. Have an untethered mind and be honest. This is a safe space where each of us shares the same intention.
"What we are going for here is something beyond words. It is you and only yours to know."